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From Zombie to total Fox in five minutes flat


When I was pregnant with my first child and waiting to start maternity leave, I used to say the funniest things.

Like “I’ll always look presentable when my husband gets home!”, “Active wear is only for the gym”, or my personal favourite “Baby wipes don’t replace showers!”


Now that motherhood has thrust me into a smelly, pantsless and mum-bunned existence, forcing me to back pedal harder than the average Tour de France competitor, my ninety minute a day regime is closer to five.

Okay, three.

Okay, thirty seconds with a baby wipe.

So, desperate to feel less like Quasimodo and more like Esmeralda, I reached out to a few of the most put-together, banging babes I know for their quick and dirty tips for feeling fly on the fly.

Nail the basics:
“The better the base, the quicker the masterpiece” -A famous painter. Probably.

My very scientific panel of hot Mums were pretty unanimous on this point: the more time you invest into skincare and haircare, the easier it’ll be. Even just adding a retinoid, AHA or other active serum to your skincare can significantly improve its texture and tone and a decent haircut will frame your face, highlighting your best features with a minimum of work. If you can swing it- because, let’s face it, womb raiders are bloody expensive-, several of our Mums also raved about eyelash extensions, a weekly coat of fake tan and brow tattooing or tinting.

A little goes a long way:
“No matter how tired I am, I’ll always use blush and a tinted lip-balm. When you have some colour in your face, you’re less likely to look like something out of The Conjuring.” -Allison

“When in a pinch on a no makeup day, dab a good crème lipstick on your cheekbones and rub it in.” -Renata

“You can get away with travelling with BB cream plus SPF, a brown mascara that will double as a brow gel and a pink/cream blush you can also use for your lips.” -Erin

Baby powder isn’t just for cute little butts:
“Babe, where’s all the baby powder gone?”- Our husbands, after we read this.

Surprisingly, many of the Mums I spoke with mentioned baby powder. From rubbing it through your hair before bed then brushing in the morning to allow it to absorb oil overnight to rubbing it through flat, lifeless hair before blow drying it out to add volume and texture, it seems this stuff is a great sub for dry shampoo. For dark haired Mummas, cocoa powder will work just as well without turning you prematurely grey (because that’s our children’s job!)

Hack ALL the things:

“Baby shampoo is the best thing to use when shaving legs. It makes the blade glide smoothly and leaves your legs feeling super soft.” -Charlee

“A really good lip balm is a brilliant multi-tool for lips, brows, lashes and cuticles. Brows and lashes are tamed and get a growth boost, lips are repaired and look kissably soft and nails are softened and healthier.” -Peta

“Keep your lip and eye liners in the freezer for an hour before sharpening them. You’ll get a much finer point while using them, saving the hassle of cleaning up the edges!” -Morgan

“Mix a liquid illuminator with your foundation for the glowiest of all faces that looks fresh a.f! Add blush, bronzer, brows and mascara, you’ll look a million bucks.” -Tamneariha

When in doubt, just use a  damn baby wipe:
“Has anyone said this already? Of course it’s been said already… Baby wipes!” -Deb

Some days, it just ain’t gonna happen. And that’s cool. You’re keeping a small
human alive. Some of us are keeping multiple small humans alive. Some of us are
working and some of us are trying not to scream as we listen to “Daddy Finger,
Mummy Finger” for the 8,000th time that morning. Don’t beat yourself up.

                                             You’re still a total fox, I promise.


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